Thursday, December 29, 2011

2011.... The year of the ‘Twit’

Forewarning: This article is not about me!

The Chinese may have deemed 2011 the year of the rabbit, but for the rest of us it was undoubtedly the year of the ‘Twit’... pardon the pun, but it was also the year that the current darling of social media, Twitter invaded the celeb world yet again!

Once renowned for informing us what Britney Spears had for Breakfast and what Lindsay Lohan didn’t (I mean who’s even interested!), Twitter is now a forum which celebrities utilise to confirm that they indeed have questionable levels of intellect! I thought it would be fitting to share some of the best tweets of 2011 with the nation...

‘Just landed back in LA, so happy to hear the news of Osama bin Laden’s death. He was the face of terrorism and such....’
This tweet came from none other than brains herself, Miss Paris Hilton! The fact that she feels the need to state that bin Laden was the face of terrorism is one thing, but the face of terrorism and ‘such’... I only wish Paris would have elaborated by what she meant when you used the word ‘and such’...ah, the mind baffles!

 “OMG! President Obama talked about us on Leno last night!”
Kris Jenner revels in the fact that Obama knows who the Kardashians are! In fairness, every second reality TV show involves them, and every second magazine cover bares their face (botoxed as it is)! Sounds like world domination to me, eh Kris! I just wonder what it was Obama had to say about them – probably wanted to thank them for their outstanding contribution to the.... showbiz world?! Hardly, worthy of a Nobel prize but hey you know how to market each of your daughters Kris! Long live the Kardashian brand! And Obama – next time you mention them, please ban them from our TV screens!

 “Room service uuuuugh! I hate when I order fruit and I can taste the other food they cut with the same knife. Beef flavored pineapples”
My heart bleeds for you Kanye West!! Room service, what a hindrance! I rarely avail of the service for the same reason detailed above! When life’s little hardships involve the drawbacks of room service, you should really count your blessings! As for next time Kanye, just go and chop the damn pineapple yourself!  And to those he continues to order room service from in whatever 5 star hotel he rocks up at – please use the beef flavoured knife to cut the pineapples!

“Just when we thought we couldn’t feel any more blessed, it seems the universe has plans to give our daughter a sibling… #humbled”
Bet you’re not missing Dawson’s Creek anymore when you read tweets like the above! All the way from our beloved Dawson, James Van Der Beek – we understand you’re delighted at the impending birth of your second child, but really?! ‘The universe has plans to give our daughter a sibling’ – No James, yourself and your wife had plans to give your daughter a sibling! We were all aware as a 30 year old, you played a teenage character in Dawson’s Creek... but surely you’re not still that naive?!

 “Love is like a brick. You can build a house, or you can sink a dead body.”
When Lady Gaga provided us with her take on love, we were hardly surprised! With a name like Gaga she was bound to have an alternative take on what love means to her. Building a house whilst an unusual description of love is somewhat more acceptable than the alternative of ‘sinking a dead body’ – Gaga indeed! Maybe someone should enquire about the whereabouts of her ex-boyfriends – I heard a few of them went MIA after the relationship ended!

“Why do we have only 1 day for giving thanks? Is that why so many people feel unappreciated? Make this 1 of 365 days of Thanksgiving!”
Demi Moore was possibly hinting to Ashton about feeling underappreciated. In his defence though, kids can be rather ungrateful these days and aren’t as thankful as they once were! Side stepping this remark, is there a reason Demi still goes by the name @MrsKutcher? That union has well and truly ended! @Cougartown could be a possible replacement though, if she’s looking for ideas that is!
There are a few tweets however which are laden with comedic value!
‘Ohh oh… Lock up your sons.. Sinead O’Connor is on the loose again’
Hector is generally known for his quick humour, but we can sense an element of fear in this tweet! And so there should be! Fresh from her ‘drive through’ wedding in Vegas, a mere 16 days later and the wedding is off and according to Hector’s tweet Sinead O’Connor has resumed her man hunt! Men of Ireland…. Be afraid, be very afraid!
 “Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber adopted a dog. Not to be outdone, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie adopted Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. "
Jimmy Fallon is quite the comedic genius posting a tweet like this! I just hope the likes of Paris Hilton and co. weren’t following him, as they’d probably have believed this to be true! Brad and Ange could succumb to Bieber fever after all – I’m sure they could do with adding to their brood!
It is important not to let the countless tweets by celebs overshadow the benefits associated with Twitter. It is the immediacy, brevity, reach and the social connections it offers, which have drawn in millions of users. These benefits result in social networking sites like Twitter doing a better job during emergencies than the traditional media outlets. The American Red Cross, for example, use Twitter to exchange minute to minute information about local disasters which include statistics and directions. It was even the medium which broke the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death (not the Paris Hilton tweet though!).
But alas, despite the many benefits, we are still bombarded with tweets from those celebrities, informing us of their glamorous lifestyles (sense the tone!). But let’s face if it doesn’t make the main evening news... you should be pretty sure, we’re not interested!!
Ashton Kutcher, please take note!!
The Forgotten Irish Graduate, 29 December 2011